Diet Patches - Effective As a Postage Stamp On Your Forearm

Sounds so easy, slap a patch on and the next thing you know you're a svelte, skinny little thing.

They have patches for everything, smoking cessation, birth control, menopause, pain, why wouldn't a diet patch not work? Easy folks: we barely have a prescription diet pill that works, and if it did, I am certain big pharma would slap that bitch on patches and hand them out. Other than appetite suppressants, and various herbal hoo-ha, not including Alli are no over-the-counter diet meds with proven efficacy to work on weight loss.

I've worked in the drug biz for a long time now, I'm going to break it down for you. For every pill you've ever put down your gullet, there were at least 3-4 of pre-clinical trials, 7 or so years of clinical trials, and then lots of back and forth bs with the FDA before they even filled the first bottle. And that is if you're lucky. That said, the majority of drugs that do go through clinical trials, do not get approved by the FDA. Not to mention behind each little pill are thousands of people busting their ass, tracking every sniffle from the thousands of people who took the drug during the testing phase. This is a very generic description, but there is major elbow grease and millions of pages of documentation.

Trust me, if a drug company discovered and had an approved diet drug that worked transdermally, that's via a patch on the skin, there would be a fucking float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade.

Herbal remedies are not regulated, and that is a whole other diatribe that I'll save for another day, but if someone did find out that the St.Hairofass root caused people to go from Rosie to Nicole Richie in a few months, the big boys would be on that like white on rice, and even the government would find a way for that to be sold, publicized and distributed.

The fine folks at DietFraud have numerous citings of various court cases where spammers and other slimy markets have been convicted of fraud for shilling these bogus patches. They also have a large listing of various patches that have been advertised and the sordid details of these patches that have the efficacy of a puffy Hello Kitty sticker.

I know we all want miracles, hell I even admitted I'd give the staple the go just for kicks, but in general, if it is too good to be true, it is.